Saturday, December 22, 2007
IM so glad i dun think the church peeps can find or read my blog ,i mean if u happen to chance upon it then err haha just my luck .
u noe when i think of my spritual walk with god ill label it as dry ....derks as in instead of being filled with the sprit im emotionally drained when i go to church .thus i dun think im gonna commit to being a cgl for now if i wanna commit im gonnan commit for at least 4 yrs .at least must watch them grow till they r sec4 =) i need 2 mths to pray abt it
why am i emotionally drained? hahah many factors i guess
-ive watched toomany of my cgls leave
-i feel tt the ppl arnd me dun realli care abt god except for the few ppl like gen ,rach whom i hang out with(with them i finally feel like im going to church)
-ppl are kinda cliquish(eg.rj gang) ,and there arent many ppl my age or older than me ,sometimes i feel alone when my cell aint arnd .
but then again ,kk im nort so alone i guess when i look at my convos im talking to joel,jon .c and tim heyy nort bad wat but dunnoe whats been bugging me .
mabey god wants me to change church ?
todae as i walked into my parents church i kinda cried a little in my heartt,ive nv felt so much peace for so long ..i know in my heart tt gods presence saturates tt place...man i was just walking! i recognise tt feeling ,its the feeling i get when i feel touched by god ....but i dun understand 2 diff church but i get 2 diff feeling ones heavy the other is light whats happening?...how strange ...davin walked up to me todae to join coos sr camp! and it clashes with plmcs sr camp...is god creating tt window of opp?i mean i dun realli know davin and he was rooted behind me with all the forms .baaaaaaaaa kk
if i join coos ...ill be more spritually filled and start off as a nobody
if i continue with plmc ill learn to grow as a cgl and watch my girls grow which is rewarding ...but at the expanse of my spritual growth
in times like this ....pray !i dun like to be wishy wasshy and dun want to
rainbow;
10:39 AM
